Lies men tell

From the Icebox:

• That's never happened to me before.
• She's like a sister to me.
• Honestly, I feel completely comfortable around homosexuals.
• Yes, I wrote it down.
• No, I won't forget.
• I would have been there, but an old friend stopped in (the car wouldn't start/my mother called/aliens abducted me).
• That's the best-looking outfit you've tried on so far.
• My roomate's girlfriend must have left it here.
• You've gained weight? I didn't even notice.
• I'm not sensitive about my bald spot. I just like hats.
• I only buy it for the articles.